You can't have your coffee and drink it too!

Have you ever done anything dumb? I mean really Stupid. One of those things or times where your just like Oh my GOD I can't believe that I just did that. I feel like I should win the Darwin award, except for the fact I didn't die in the process. So see if you can find out my folly in the following set of events.

So I wake up the smorning and, you know those days where your still half or mostly asleep but have some sense of illusion that your awake-you know, eyes are open, your walking around and for the most part navigating the inside of your house without bumping into too many things...yeah that was me mere hours ago. No that wasn't the mistake, or maybe it was.

So I think to myself, I could really use a cup of coffee. Simple nuff. So off to the freezer to pull out the can of Trader Joe's French Vanilla coffee beans and pour them into the grinder, set the grinder at 8 cups and push the button to start the grinding process. Next, I plug in the coffee maker, go to the cupboard and pull a filter out of the box, put the box away and insert the coffee filter into the appropriate place in the coffee maker. Next I take the coffee pot and rinse it out and put it in the dish drainer upside down to dry. Then, I grab a bottle of water and pour it into the back of the coffee maker until the little bubble indicator on the front says that-no shows that it has reached the 8 cup mark. (the bubble indicator doesn't say anything.) and put the rest of the bottle of water away. Now, to be ready for when it's done, I fetch my usual coffee mug, and the french vanilla creamer out of the fridge, and one teaspoon to stir it with. OK! That should do it. I'm all ready now. I have successfully survived the coffee making process. And barely even realizing that I, yes I, am still not completely awake. So in comes my finger out toward the on button. Yes that one button that turns the whole shebang on and makes this fully automatic coffee maker make the coffee.

OK about five minutes and I will be enjoying my cup of Joe at the kitchen table with the curtains open to let the morning light in while nestling my nose into the funnies of today's newspaper. And with that I retreat back into the bedroom to draw the shades-I've been trying to brush up on my artwork lately, but all I had was a red ball point pen.

So didja kechit? did you see my miraculous blunder, the one piece that I left out of the equation? I'll give ya a hint: The next thing I know is that someone is calling into the kitchen to spend the next 20 minutes cleaning a serious mess, and I have to start all over and make a brand new fresh pot of coffee.

I'll tell you what. I'll send a free copy of our latest CD (Dirt Road Rendezvous) to the first person who correctly identifies my crucial mistake. Leave your response as a comment to this Blog. -Ravi

In Search of Squatsquatch

What is Squatsquatch and why are we searching for it/him/her? There have been recent sightings and signs of a burly looking creature cruising the forests of California, Oregon, and Washington, in what appears to be "Rad Day" shorts and river sandals. It appears that this beast has some sense of modesty and sensitive, tender feet, hence the "Rad Day" shorts and river sandals. We are very curious: What the hell are "Rad Day" shorts? Apparently they were stolen off of a clothesline at some point, and we hope to get a good look at them on our quest and to return them to their previous owner who attaches strong sentimental value to this pair of "unique-looking" shorts.

Sources say that Squatsquatch has some of the most peculiar shaped droppings (skat, dung, feces, excrement, crap, poop, shit, shite, meadow muffins) with an unusual signature on top of the heap, though this may be myth. We also hear this beast likes to hang lights in the forest, but we think this is a load of crap; how would a wild and woolly creature get access to electricity in a forest? There is evidence that Squatsquatch's voice (mating call?) has been recorded by some frightened campers. We will endeavor to render this audio recording for your aural pleasure.

Out on the road, we the good, clean folks of TapWater recreate in wholesome, creative, and fun-loving ways. Along with visiting brewpubs, national parks, and disc golf courses, we are now adding Squatsquatch tracking. We look forward to providing you with video footage of our search and just maybe an actual sighting of this mythical, legendary beast.

Grand Junction On

This last two weeks has been a blast! So much fun in so little time…

After doing a small radio spot in Grand Junction, we hung out with the kind folks at KAFM where they introduced us to the local brewery. Sure enough, we ended up at Palisade Brewery the next day to try all their brews (crafted by Mike Armstrong - Head Brew Master). They invited us to play a small set at their happy hour BBQ. Mike ended up coming out to our show at the Spotlight Lounge that night and hooked us up with some “road brews” as he called them. THEY’RE GOIN’ LIKE WATER MIKE! He must have known we had a few days off.

Those next few days were filled with some of the most beautiful hikes and coolest views I’ve ever seen (I think the “road brews” might have had a little to do with it). Monument Valley, Arches, Bryce Canyon and Zion National Parks are awesome! The Narrows in Zion was TapWater’s favorite hike. I highly recommend getting some river shoes and doing this. Almost 90% of the hike is IN the river with 300 foot red rock walls keeping it nice and cool the whole time. I would love to do this one on a real hot day.

Well, now we’re here at Lisa’s house in beautiful Sedona (oh, darn) and ready for the next few shows. Can’t wait to see what this week has to offer. Hmmm…maybe I’ll go see what Palisade’s brew the cooler has to offer. ‘Till next time…hike on!!!

Peace - Steve

Tooth Hurty Part 2

Well a couple of days go by, the appointment is made. And yes it was for two thirty. Our illustrious band manager and angel from heaven Anne Tropeano had found a wonderful dentist at this place just outside of Denver, CO that coincidently happened to have an opening right about the time we would be rollin’ through town. All right Its my day off, go in for a quick visit to get a new filling put in and I’ll be on my way EEEEEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Sorry Charley. Do to certain complications yada yada yada… BAM !! I need a $600. root canal and THEY, oh yes THEY, have the time. Oh here comes that sweet strawberry colored bubble gum flavored gel on a cotton swab. And Holy Sheep Sh!t look at the size of that needle. “Open wide please” Oh my God this can’t be happening to me right now. I have shows to play, I have a girlfriend back home, Please God why me, why now.
AAHOOOOOHHYYEAHH. It doesn’t hurt really as bad as it could because of the gel but, I can definitely feel the sensation of that super sharp hypodermic needle sliding into the soft flesh in the back of my mouth between my top and bottom back teeth. Oh thank God that parts over with. Only an hour and a half left to go. Heck yeah let’s do this, bring it on…NOT! For the next eternity I had to endure the drill with the high pitch WHEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee feeling the weight of the doctors arm pushing, drilling, WHEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. “Suction” WHEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee “Rinse” OH GOD! Meanwhile Anne is sitting there with me patting my foot…”your doing great” she says as my knuckles are ghost white from clinching the armrest with a kung fu grip. Then came the grinder. If you don’t know what the grinder is, it’s the same as the drill with a different head like a grinding wheel. GHGHHGHGGHGGGHHGHGHHGGGHHGHHH! My vision is blurred (like when you put your head on the car window when you’re a kid in the back seat with mom driving down the road) from the force and pressure of the grind, grind, grind. Then they have to use these little files and stick it way down into the freshly created hole and continue to manually bore it out. Only one problem… I felt that. I jerked in the seat and was politely asked to not jump or make sudden movements because the dentist had very sharp objects in my mouth. Oh yeah, like I could of controlled THAT. It happened again. “OK we’ll take care of that” OH NO NOT THE NEEDLE AGAIN. This time penetrating the gums one on the inside, one on the out side. More drilling, more filing. “Rinse”, “Suction” I still felt it. Am I in Hell? All I did was eat a stinKING PIECE OF CANDY !!! “OK I’m really going to put an end to this” .This time the needle gets me in the top, in the bottom, on the sides over and over again. Now my mouth and lips feel like a balloon, I’m surprised my face doesn’t float away. Finally they stop. It was a good thing to because I was shaking the building from my chair. Thank God. It’s over with. EHHHHH ! SUCCERRRRRRRRR! It was truly only a break. Back into my mouth they dive and….well you get the picture. I did make it through though, and now I have to make an appointment to get it crowned when I get home, I love the dentist.
Well that’s it. That’s my story. Well, what am I gonna do now? I think I’ll go have another sour jawbreaker. That should be OK. As long as I don’t try to bite it,… right?

Tooth Hurty Part 1

You know? I like a day off once in a while. I mean, who doesn’t….Right? It means that you get the day’s time to do whatever you want to do with it. I could go play disc golf, or, or go drink beer with Tim, or play my guitar or somethin’ yeah. So you think to yourself…if I could do anything I wanted today..I would….

GET A FREEAKIN’ ROOT CANAL !!!!


You see a couple of weeks ago… no wait, even before that. About a month and a half ago we had a couple of days off of show so we went to Napa Valley to take a well deserved brake. I got lubed that night at the local den of iniquity in town, and stumbling back to the bus I passed by this one store window which I could undeniably, absolutely 100 percent not resist. As my gaze was drawn inward as if compelled by some dreamy mystical magic force, I saw a splendid array of colors swirling all around.
Blues and reds, with purple delight.
Pinks and yellows, oh what a sight.
All cast with this wonderfully bright soft white light. Then, mesmerized, my feet started moving my body in through the front door only to be completely inundated and totally surrounded by……

CANDY !!!!!!!!

Tons of it!
There was lemonheads and cinnamon, and candy bars galore,
Nougats, suckers, and taffee pieces, all within this store.
So I grabbed a bag and started filling and filling and filling and filling…..
I felt like a kid in a candy store.
I grabbed Swedish gummy fish, and truffles, some hard candies and a Bit O Honey,
I grabbed sours and all sorts of taffee and then I gave them my money.
About 29.79 to be exact.
And that’s a fact.

So now we get to the fun stuff….

A few weeks later I get this little hankerin’
so I open up my drawer and pull out my sack
and figure, I’ll throw a couple pieces back
I take out the taffee and unravel the paper pop it into my mouth. And I started to chew and chew and OW!!!! What the heck was that! I had just bitten down hard on something very….very hard. So into my mouth my finger goes to fish out this piece of candy and something bites my finger. No I’m only kidding about that. I pull out this slobbery half chewed piece of taffee and peer at it with an inquisitive eye. Upon close inspection, it is revealed to me that I have solely and successfully single handedly extracted a filling in biting on my back bicuspid and now it was stuck in my candy. Well there’s only one thing left for me to do…..so I pull the filling out, and put this slobbery half chewed piece of taffee back into my mouth and
continued chewin'

New Music!!!!

Well, it’s finally here…our new acoustic CD “Dirt Road Rendezvous” is now available on www.tapwatermusic.com (and trust me, your parents will love it). Touring, consistent shows and a lot of work in the studio helped us tune up the acoustic machine, so we thought it was time to record a live studio CD. After a little research and a great reference from our pal Simeon Flick, we came across Sven-Erik Seaholm of Kitsch & Sync Productions. It was there, in his comfy little living room studio on August 7th where we made a bit of history. Sven is an audio-jedi and real easy to work with. He even made a cameo appearance (see if you can hear his part on our title track). Thanks Sven!...the bearded lady would be proud of you. So check out the “What’s New” section of www.tapwatermusic.com and hear what we’ve been up to lately! Don’t forget to tell everyone you know about it…especially mom and dad.

Peace - Steve

Arcata Brothers

We played a festival in Benbow, CA and met this cool guy named Rudy while while we were late night jammin down by the Eel River. We told Rudy we were on the look out for a drummer, and he said he was a drummer/percussionist. We set up a date to jam up at his house in Arcata, and when we got there his friend Simon jumped in on the jam and was an awesome drummer as well. All of us hit it off, and on our second leg of the tour we stopped by Arcata again to audition these guys. Needless to say it went well, and on our third leg of our tour we stopped by Arcata again to pick them up for a ten day stint. All the TapWater people were worried about seven people traveling in our vehicle, Irvin, but it turned out that we couldn't have traveled with more chill dudes. It was a little crammed but turned out to be a great time. They caught up to speed quickly on most of our material with Simon playing a contraption "trap" kit and Rudy playing percussion and marimba. In addition to music these guys fit in to our picture of recreation as well with much disc golfing, swimming, bocce ball, chess, and of course moderate beer drinking ;} It was a great time, and we are all looking forward to more music and recreation with Simon and Rudy.

My First Sniglet

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray oh Lord my soul to keep
And as I slumber with dreams of Pooh and Piglet,
I pray my band doesn’t gang up on me with a singlet.

I knew it was coming. Like a freight train speeding out of control. It was as inevitable as the sunrise on a new day, and sure as the Earth keeps on spinning, I was destined to become its next victim.

You see, its power corrupts all who encounter it. It IS bound and determined to GET you. It compels those around you. Yes, you’re not even safe from your closest loved ones, who once infected by its evil forces and unyielding ways, will turn on you with a voracious wrath so horrifying, that God himself would cringe and cower with disgust at such an atrocity. Why even that little stunt with Noah’s Ark and all the rain destroying the Earth seemed as mild as Johnson’s baby shampoo in comparison.

The spooky part about the whole thing though is that you are completely unaware of the evil that is about to happen to you. Oh you poor unsuspecting soul, so peacefully in the midst of one of your most precious commodities, SLEEP! And yes this is when it comes for you, like the Grimm Reaper who’s come to gather his quota, it awaits for just the right moment to strike. With a swift and crushing upheaval into the deepest, darkest regions of the nostril, desecrating REM and scattering all of those poor innocent sheep who were once so happily jumping that logged fence betwixt the two lovely Oak trees in the rolling hills covered with tall wispy blonde grass. BAAAAAAA! BAAAAAAA! “Sheep where are you going…come back, come back.” But it’s too late. Your nasal passage has just been violated like that scene from the movie Deliverance. Reamed by a little twisted up paper towel whose sinister power and corruption rival Golem’s ring.


Your eyes burst open wide with a look of fear so cold that it would turn one to stone. Your arms, in response, simply reacting, wildly thrashing about to just get it away, and that’s when you hear it. Annoys, no, I mean A NOISE so scary that some even let out a terrifying shriek so loud it could deafen a Kiss concert. It’s a horrible sound, so awful that I can’t give it justice in words. For it is laughter. Yes laughter. Everyone around you, everyone you thought you could trust. Everyone that would tell you “I got your back man” and they are ALL standing around you. Huddled in a circle with a video camera, LAUGHING! And you….you, you little innocent bysleeper have a very, very dry nostril.

I Ate A Mushroom

I was really trippin’ out hard too. There were a few different varieties. Gosh it’s late, there’s hardly a soul to be seen. And all the fluorescent lights everywhere. Thank goodness for the 24 Hr. Safeway. Oh what’s that! It’s an Olive that’s what it is. A whole bunch of them. Swimming in a pool of vinegar, oil and crushed red peppers. All I have to do is grab one of those toothpicks with the non-pointed end covered in a tiny little colored piece of plastic from the little plastic cup and stab it through the middle of that olive and it’s MINE! Holy Moly! Is that a… Oh Yeah! It is…. artichoke hearts. This time I’ll get the blue toothpick. And there’s the mushrooms! Teriyaki mushrooms. Not as good though as the first mushroom that I ate. That one was garlic and oil. Now I’m going to try the blue cheese stuffed olives followed by the Greek olives. And now that I think about it, as long as I’m here, I may as well try a sample of everything here. “Oh hi Steve, have you checked out the olive bar?” “Which one are you gonna try”? “The garlic olives were my personal favorites” says Steve.

The Baby Seal

Hi to all you in bloggerland, this is anne the manager.

We are now in Washington touring about the state. We've been in a small town called Sequim for the last several days playing the Lavender Festival. It was fun-- we made a little money and met some nice people. However, the rain and small-townness is starting to wear on everyone as we have been here for 5 days now. We feel ready to leave but still have three more days to go.

I did have an amazing experience with a baby seal a couple days back. We had the pleasure of visiting the Dungeness Wildlife Refuge here in Sequim. It boasts the largest spit in the world. I don't know if you know what a spit is (I didn't) but it's a long skinny bar of sand that spits out into the ocean. This one is 7 miles long, covered in driftwood, and it is in one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been in my life. It is where the Puget sound meets the Pacific Ocean.

We hiked down there as the sun was setting. Ravi and I were a bit ahead of Steve and Wes, who were exploring the driftwood and shoreline. We saw something moving and I asked, what is that? Ravi said incredulously, it's a baby seal. We walked to it and as I saw it, it looked up at us and started pushing itself toward me on it's little flippers. It was crying and crying with anguish, moving to me as if I was it's mother. We locked eyes, and strangely my motherly instinct kicked in and I went to it as if in fact I was it's mother. My arms were outstretched and I bent down to comfort it and Ravi had the presence of mind to say, don't touch it! So I stopped and looked at is as it continued to me, getting within an inch or two of my shoe. It kept crying and nuzzling the ground wanting our help. It was the most profound connection with an animal I have ever had.

I called Steve and Wes over then ran all the way back up to a maintenance house that was on the trail going through the trees down to the ocean. Lucky for me someone was home -- it was late now, after 9:00 pm. I knocked on the door and a woman answered who was likely a park ranger. I told her about the baby seal and apparently they already knew about it. She told me this was it's second day on the beach and they were hoping that last night the mother would come back for it after all the people left. She told me the wildlife refuge has a policy of not intervening, and if the seal was there in the morning, it would not make it. It's mother was probably eaten by a shark and there was nothing they could do for it.

I thanked her and went back down to the seal. I told the guys what I had learned and told them to say their goodbyes. I went up to the seal once again but by now it had figured out that we weren't going to help it and it was angry. The connection I had with it was lost, and it turned it's head away from us. It was dying.

We left, heartbroken. As we walked away, with the sun setting against the waters, I saw my first bald eagle. It was massive and beautiful, soaring overhead into the tall trees that fell into the ocean. It was perfect, a gesture of hope and life that the world gave us in that sad moment.

It was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life.

Six - Six Slick - Six Slick Slithery

Six slick slithery snakes

Six slick slithery snakes slowly sliding southward

Six slick slithery snakes slowly sliding southward seeking shelter

Six slick slithery snakes slowly sliding southward seeking shelter saw seventy seven slimy salamanders

Sweet

Sweet said Squeeze

Sweet said Squeeze, salivating

Sweet said Squeeze salivating, suppose we slather some sauce

Sweet said Squeeze salivating, suppose we slather some sauce for a swell slippery supper

Supershred six snakes said

Sssssssorry thisssssssss isssssss sssssuch a sssssad sssssstory

In the Hubs of Hades

Wow! We hit what must have been record heat in Chico, CA when we rolled in to town for a show at LaSalle’s. It was 108 degrees and drippingly humid. We had just come from Arcata and Crescent City where it was somewhat chilly from the ocean and heavy marine layer (fog). Chico and probably most of the Central Valley were Hotter Than the Hubs of Hades! We played a three hour show outside in the heat, and when we were done we were drenched with sweat. Every move felt like we were neck high in molasses. We packed up and left immediately for Ocean Beach on the west side of San Francisco where we could finally get some sleep at 5 AM.

Speaking of Hades, have you ever seen that Far Side cartoon where the devil is leading a man to a room full of kids with banjos in their hands? The devil says, “This is your room, Maestro.” Let me tell you what my room would contain should I ever find my way to the Hubs of Hades: Persons there who incessantly talk with no conversation or listening skills, where there is no other place for me to go, no excuses for me to make to leave. Yes, this phobia of being trapped in a never-ending talking-AT extends back to my childhood when my grandmother would just chat away for what felt like an eternity. Don’t get me wrong, I love good conversation and really enjoy talking WITH others. But if you come talking AT me, you'll see my face take on a peculiar schrunched up look that is half irritation and half flashback. No offense but that's your cue -- whatever lame excuse comes out of my mouth, please accept it so I can get the hell out of Hades!

Ravi's Sports Classic Part 2

OK, so here it is, the moment you’ve all been waiting for….Part 2, the climactic finale to Ravi’s sport classic part 1.

The answer to the question of what I just got is so absolutely exciting I’m coming out of my skin. I’m here, and my skin is over there. The answer to my question is also a three parter, for I did NOT just get one thing, I got three.

Thing number one thing of the three things that I recently established to my gleeful acquiring is a full on, bonafied competition size and weight Bocce Ball set by which I shall not disclose the brand name of said manufacturer for the reason of no particular agreement for compensation has been made heretofore between myself (hereon referred to as “myself”) and such said manufacturer (hereon referred to as “said manufacturer”).

I LOVE THIS GAME!!! This game Bocce Ball is not for the light at heart. It requires strict discipline and focused concentration to prove your self worthy and come out victorious against another skilled Bocce Ball player. Take it from me. Although I now own a Bocce Ball set, it in no way makes me some kind of expert. Yay, I have been crushed down upon and humiliated by masters whose skills are so accurately adept, that I had to lay my head low in shame and slowly walk away dragging my Bocce Balls behind me. Nuff said ‘bout that.

The number two thing of the three things that I revere so with such ambitious splendor is a top of the line, professional Croquet set complete with a heavy duty padded aluminum cast carrying case AND instructions. THIS GAME KICKS MULE!!!!

So here’s the thing. I can’t believe that I once foolishly thought that I was indeed the Croquet King, for I met a guy named Pat Murphy and his roommate Keith. These guys are some serious players whose mallet mastery and mad ball skills have never in my experience been matched by anyone, anytime ever. So I guess that puts me in third place, but watch out guys, I’m commin’ for you and once again my mallet shall prove unbreakable and I will once again reclaim my title of the number one Croquet master IN THE UNIVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSE!!!!!!

Number three. The third and final game added to my collection completing this triathlon of lawn game entertainment is one of my favorites and I suck but it’s great with beer. This game could only be, of course Horseshoes. There’s just something about locking in on that pin and hurling this open ended oval shaped piece of metal that’s actually really and truly meant for the foot of a horse through the air and trying to ring it around the pin recently referred to in the first part of this sentence, or at least get closest. Sometimes though the force is with you and you can almost close your eyes and throw, because you can just feel the pin. BE THE PIN RAVI…..be the pin.

This Small Flying Mammal Friend Of Mine

If you think the snigglet is a form of sleep deprivation try having a family of bats living in the walls behind your headboard. Basically, we played this private party in a small and very old town, and in this very old town was this very old hotel which we were put up in. Actually, the owner of the hotel was the guy throwing the party and the place was probably built over a hundred years ago. He's a really nice guy and was very hospitable, which is why I will refrain from giving you the name of the town or the hotel. I don't want to sabotage any future business the poor guy might have.

So everyone in the band knows that I am a very nocturnal person. I'm usually one of the last at the party and also the last to go to bed. Because of that there is a price to pay, which is being the last to choose my sleeping quarters. So what do I get? The room with the bats living in the walls behind the headboard of my bed for the night. As I lay me down to sleep at 3:00 in the morning all I hear, at least a couple feet from my head, is the frolicking and squeaking of about twenty to thirty bats. Not exactly a peaceful lullaby is it. After about twenty minutes of trying to sleep with all the ruckus I look up at the ceiling and see a bat gracefully floating in circles above my bed. Now, at this point I could have done one of two things, which is throw a shoe at the thing and then run down the hall shrieking or lay there and let it have it's way with my room. I was pretty exhausted at this point so I chose the latter. I figured this bat isn't going to attack me in my sleep. Is it? I've never heard of bats who liked to feast on large mammals in there sleep. Although there was that little bit of anxiety that other bats may get out of whatever hole this one made it out of. But it seemed to be the only one for awhile now as I laid there watching it do a figure eight for about an hour now. So I took comfort in that and slowly drifted off to sleep. Even though I was sleeping it seemed there was still this slight nervousness keeping me from a deep sleep. So I tried to think happy thoughts about the bat. For instance, if there were any insects in the room (spiders, mosquitoes, etc.) that this small mammal friend of mine, with its acute senses and lightning fast instincts, would gladly dispose of any unwelcome critters. I mean bats hunt insects for a living and they're blind so you know they're pretty damn good at it. Right? It was like my "guardian bat". As I thought these happy thoughts about this bat it worked like a charm and I fell into a deep sleep, finally.

Because I fell asleep thinking so hard about this bat I ended up having a dream about it. I dreamt that me and this little guy were buds and he would come and cuddle with me as I slept, to keep warm, and get up and fly around again to keep my apartment clean of insects. As the dream went on I taught the bat how to speak English and got him a job as an exterminator. I basically brought him into society and made him a full on taxpayer. We were best buds/roommates and lived happily ever after. WEIRD HUH?!

I pretty much feel like I'm one with bats now. I think I'm gonna call up Bruce Wayne to share bat stories and maybe see if I can fight a little crime with him or something.

The Snigglet

The Snigglet was an ancient Chinese torture device originally made from rolled and twisted parchment, where the end comes to a sharp twisted point. The Snigglet did not do any physical harm but was meant as a sleep deprivation torture device. Once the captured enemy was in a deep sleep in his prison cell, a party of four torturers would creep in without waking the prisoner. One of the torturers would wield the Snigglet and take aim at the enemy's exposed nostril. With a practiced technique, a jab up and twist motion, the prisoner didn't know what had hit him. He would wake trying to bat away his marauders while they all laughed at him, thus adding the belittling element to the sleep deprivation.

Several of the fellows in TapWater have taken liberty with their band mates to practice this technique. TapWater will soon post a video of this demonstration so our family and friends can practice at home. As well as the jabbing technique, we will demonstrate the rolling of the Snigglet for maximum nostril penetration.

Asphalt sole in Point Richmond

If there was ever a good place to strap on your dancing shoes, it is Point Richmond. On the opening show of the summertime music series, the movement of the dancers through out the night was infectious. Yet the best dancer, by and large, was a fellow by the name of Brad. He was up and moving to Susan Davis and her band before anyone else. Once TapWater began to play, the best dancer in Point Richmond invited me out onto the dance asphalt (for there wasn’t a floor as it was in the middle of the street!) Of course, I can nearly never refuse an invitation to dance, and it was still early in the day, so out I went. Brad lead the movement, and I gladly flowed along. Then I lead a bit and he stayed the course better than any other partner I have ever danced with. We continued on through the entire set, playing off one another’s moves and energy.
TapWater came to a set break which meant a quick rest for the dancers, but as soon as the band was back on, Brad was there again inviting me out to dance in the street. Of course I go and we are out twirling and bouncing and tapping our toes and shakin our hips and just can’t get enough of that good vibe. We thank each other after each break in the music and we are smiling and laughing at the sheer fun of the event. Encore after encore, we stay with the merry movements of the music until, sadly, TapWater must exit the stage. I smile at Brad and he grins at me. One last curtsy and one last bow and a reach to shake hands that turns into each of us pulling for a hug. The best dancer in all of Point Richmond was my partner for two hours.

Ravi's Sports Classic Part 1

Oh, the joys of being a kid. You know, one of my favorite things when I was but a wee lad was this little mini Nerf basket ball hoop that hung from the back of my bedroom door. All of the neighborhood kids would come over for the big tournament which happened on at least a once a day basis. Of course I, being the owner of such said hoop, had developed a particularly adept mastery of mad skills from just about every possible shot to be made in the room, which of course could only come ever so naturally from residing in the home field advantage called my room.

Oh yes, there was the jump shot from the back corner of the wall with the window on it, where you had to ever so gently finesse your way just over the corner of the steel frame of the top bunk (I had the top bunk by the way, my brother slept in the bottom) and with just the right bit of back spin…SWISH!!!! “OH YEAH BABY! DID YOU SEE THAT SHOT!”

The room erupted with cheers from the local riff raff. Oh the glorious victory accompanied by the I kicked your butt dance. Once again I had conquered all who had come before me, all who dared challenge my prowess. I was the champion, the victor, the winner of all, I was the best.

Then there was the living room baseball games. The EZ boy chair was first base. Third base was an end table that was nowhere near the end of anything so I don’t even know why they called it that whoever they are. The couch was in the center of the room so it only seemed fitting that it be second base. Of course this made a great dynamic for the I got you/no you didn’t arguments because of the overwhelming size. Tied couch goes to the runner. Finally, the rule ensued that you had to reach the middle cushion to be considered safe or “YOUR OUTTA THERE!”

So all things considered and this and that not much has changed. Oh yes my body is physically and in almost every way shape and form out grown my 10 year old adolescent piece of grey matter situated somewhere within this thick skull of mine still refusing to this day to accept the unfact that aging is an ever prevalent force of time demanding of me to follow through with it. Maybe one day I’ll reckon with it, but not now. Not today, and probably not tomorrow or the next day neither. For you know what I just got? Do ya? Huh come on, can you guess?


Well you’ll just have to tune in next week to find out because this blog is reached the just about out of space limits. Yes I’ll quit now before this turns into a full fledged chapter. Tune in next week for Ravi’s Sports Classic part 2.

Excitement

You know, there’s something to be said about excitement. For me it’s kind of like going up that first climb on a monster roller coaster and your just cresting the top of that first drop….click, click, click, click and all of a sudden your rushing toward the ground 70 times faster than man/woman was originally designed to travel, and that taste in your mouth is actually your stomach which is a strange place for that to be hanging out, and even stranger yet that it is the least of your concerns at that particular junction in your life.

Anyhow for each of us excitement manifests itself in different ways. For some of you, you’d scoff at me for getting excited at a pisley little roller coaster ride, for you something like sliding the door open on the side of an aircraft and leaping into the wide blue atmosphere is what gets your blood to course speedily through your blood veins. For others it might be getting to see a family member they haven’t seen in a long time, but whatever the case, I kind of thrive on the energy rush that excitement provides.

So what brings this up you may ask? Well a couple of things. One is that our band is a day away from embarking on our summer tour. Ahhhh yes! I get to cram myself into a 34 foot vehicle with 5 or 6 other people and work my donkey off for extremely long days, driving down marginal black strips of asphalt, adhered to the earth with, well basically gravity, that literally can run forever. Oh yeah, it’s a blast. Always being shuffled around and told where to go and what to do, never knowing hardly which way is up or what city your in or where you are from day to day. Oh yes and then there’s the shower situation and laundry, housekeeping, maintenance and upkeep of your living situation and of course everyone is always in the best of spirits, and all I can think to myself is…..BRING IT ON BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of this for those couple hours a night of pure bliss. A sheer freedom of experience when I strap on my ( getchyer minds out of the gutter) guitar and join my comrades on stage and get to do what I love the most.( besides my mom) Play music for anyone who cares to listen.

Oh yeah I did say I had a couple of things. Well the second one is the I have a fresh Julian apple pie in my fridge and I’m about to run to the store to pick up some Vanilla bean ice cream-Yum
See Ya

Nutrition

I've been fluctuating for years now about the food I consume. I grew up an all-American boy eating meat including Slim Jims, tube-steaks and a whole gaggle (Jamie's favorite word) of sliced, diced, whipped and processed swine. McDonald's was the usual stop before and after school-- Sausage McTinge in the morning and two cheeseburgers topped with fries in the afternoon. Of course Mom would recommend a variety of vegetables for the evening's slop. The past 9 years I've gone on and off vegetarian and vegan diets, each time inevitably switching back to eating food from my childhood.

Since I love my life and I expect to live a couple hundred years, recently I've gone back to an all vegan, mostly organic diet. I feel that I've abused my cosmic vehicle for long enough, and that if I don't switch I'm just a step away from getting a degenerative disease. With equal weight, my conscience can no longer bear consuming anything with a face.

I'm paying particularly close attention to the nutritional side of the foods I'm eating. I try to make sure I'm getting decent amounts of glucose, vitamins, proteins, amino and fatty acids, minerals and fiber.

Here are two key things that I've discovered through some rudimentary research:
1. Eat 80% alkalizing forming foods and 20% acidic forming foods. I found a fairly extensive list of these foods at http://home.bluegrass.net/~jclark/alkaline_foods.htm
2. Intake ratio of Potassium to Sodium should always be 4 to 1. So for every 100 mg of sodium I consume, I eat 400 mg Potassium. If one has too much sodium then the body's cells retain water and do not function properly. This ratio is essential for weightloss since the majority of our weight and "fluffyness" comes from water retention. I found nutritional data for the foods I eat at http://www.nutritiondata.com/.

Because I started eating properly, I have the energy to exercise which completes the cycle of health.

-Wes

Jobby Job

How's it goin' peeps. I was just sitting here wondering what to write about and then it hit me. I'll give you a little insight on my crappy job. That should be fun, huh? Anyway, I'm a clerk for a large liquor store chain. Just by saying that some of you may know the name of the place, and for those that don't I'll keep you guessing. Basically, I shouldn’t have taken the job in the first place, but we got back from our first tour in November and I was desperate for one. The main problem is the pay sucks. The other problem, like any other retail chain, is people ask some pretty stupid questions and it catches you off guard so you don't know how to react. For example, just the other day a guy came up to me and asked, "Excuse me, do you carry any tequila made from agave?" It took me a moment to keep myself from laughing in his face, then I politely muttered the words, "Uh....all tequila is made from agave." What I really wanted to say was, "No sir, that shipment didn't come in today. Instead we got this other kind of tequila distilled from potatoes or grain. But for some reason they call it VODKA!"

Anyway I probably sound like a grouch but I’m not …really.

Hey, so check it out. Since this segment had to do with alcohol I figure I would end this blog with a toast. So everybody go to the fridge or liquor cabinet and grab a beer or shot of something and let’s toast to life. Whatta ya say? Ok ready? Now raise your drink and resite these words.

Work like you don’t need the money
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Dance like no one is watching
Screw like you’re being filmed
And always drink like a true Irishman
Cheers!!

Exploring Gender Specific Foods

To build on Ravi C. Laird's literary submission, "You are What You Eat," let's explore which foods are MANLY and Unmanly... and which foods are Androgynous. When performing my meticulous speculation, previously I had hypothesized that there were only two categories of foods, manly and unmanly, but with further stabs in the dark I came to the conclusion that some foods could be hermaphroditic. Below is a brief list:

Manly foods

• Steak
• Burgers
• Baked Potato
• Prime Rib
• Barbeque Ribs
• Freedom Fries
• Iceberg lettuce salad with an unripe tomato wedge
• Beer
• Easy Mac with Hormel Chili

Unmanly foods

• Quiche
• Cottage cheese
• Baby Greens Salad
• Tofu
• Tempeh
• Rosemary red potatoes
• Yogurt
• Chocolate Mousse
• Pina Colada with Umbrella (anytime of the day)
• Pina Colada without umbrella (but after 6 PM)

Androgynous foods

• Pasta with marinara or alfredo sauce
• Pork chops
• Coca cola
• Homemade Macaroni and cheese
• French fries
• Pizza
• Salmon
• Chicken

In subsequent submissions I will explore the health effects of eating manly, unmanly, and androgynous foods.

You Are What You Eat

You know, when I was a kid and, now that I think about it, through most of my life, lemon has been my all time favorite flavor. Sure, there have been a lot of others that have come and gone, and some that have stuck for quite a while and are indeed still contenders, but lemon…. Ahhh yes lemon is the tough competitor constantly ruling the tongue and challenging all other flavors to step up to the palate. Uh Hum!

I remember way back in the day, my grandma used to make a lemon meringue that was out of this world. That creamy, snap, tang of the bright iridescent yellow stuff topped with this light, off white, sugary stuff that looked fluffy, yet had a sort of sweet crunch to it, all atop a flaky cream colored soft and chewy homemade pie crust that sort of triggered a mini Niagara Falls in your mouth. I had to keep swallowing just to contain the jealousy of my anticipating saliva glands.

Oh yes, I went through them all…. Lemon snap cookies, lemon drops, lemon ice cream (yum), and I went berserk for those lemonheads candies. Remember those, in the white box with the blue writing and the sour face picture?

So I realized this morning, when having my morning juice blend, that it’s not just lemon that gives my taste buds the excitement of a five year old going to Disneyland….It’s anything sour and tart. You see I make these juice blends, for example this morning it was 100% cranberry juice mixed with an Orange fusion-about a fifty/fifty ratio. I tried it out on some of the neighborhood kids who won’t drink juice (or anything that’s healthy for that matter) however they love sour candy. So I said “hey you kids, this juice tastes like sour gummy worms.” They loved it. Some even started buying 100% cranberry to make their own juice blends.

So here is the point of my story. If I love the Whacky, Zany, Bam, Bang, Crazy, Over the top, Zippity do da of the tongue curling effects of the sweet and sour turbulently tart, and, you are what you eat (and drink), then that explains what has possibly been the ultimate question in the universe for me…..who and why I am.

I feel better now. Have I told you my theory on colors? Well it all started when I was a little……
-Ravi C. Laird

New Music Rise

One of the most exciting things for me as Manager is watching the band produce new material. I get the distinct privilege of hearing songs as they are written, as they are developed by the full band, and as they are introduced to the public. It is a fascinating, amazing process where each band member's color is interwoven to create an elegant reflection of life.

I am very inspired by the new music that the band is writing lately. Steve, Tim, and Wes all have new pieces they are working in. Steve's new one is a sort of bluesy, raucous number laden with desire. Tim's is a poppy Beatles-esque tune lined with innocent heartbreak. And Wes' is a solemn melodic acknowledgement to his mother who has long since passed. They are all stellar.

TapWater, I am continually impressed with your growth and commitment to musicianship. I am very lucky to work with such talent. Thank you, guys.

anne

Directions to the Party

OK, so from the 55 North, you go up to mile marker 16. There will be an old dirt road on the left. Follow approximately 11 miles and veer right at the fork. Go up three dirt roads and make another right. This is the short cut to State Route 33, which will be about a mile up. Follow Rt. 33 for 4 miles to junction 50 and continue 8.4 miles to highway 15 North. Go up 6 miles to Via Juacinto exit. At the end of the off ramp, stay in the left hand side of the right turn lane. Go up to the next stop light and stay in the right hand side of the left turn lane. This is Camino Mesa Rd. Make your first right at the stop sign onto Village Camp Rd. From here go up about a mile and a half until you see a Burger King and bust a right. I don't remember the name of this street, but it is definately at the Burger King. I know because it is next to the Aarco where we always get gas. This will take you down past the Chevy dealership to where the WalMart/Olive Garden shopping center is on the right and the Mervyn's/Sears mall is on the left. Keep going, your almost there. When you get to Second street, take a left. You'll know it because there's a 76 station on the corner. Make your first right into Country Living Estates. The gate code is 3514. Once through the gate, follow the windy paved road and veer right at the fork and go straight after the stop sign. Make your first left onto Country Court, up one block to Country Circle. This is my street. I am the fifth estate on the left, 33152 Country Circle. You can valet your vehicle at the end of the driveway. Follow the lights into the party. The whole trip should take about an hour. Let's rage, I'll see you there. Make a copy of this email as it will be your invitation. Peace- Ravi.

Love Letter of Recommendation

Sample letter:

Canyon Bob
777 Lucky in Love Drive
San Diego, CA 92107

Regarding: Position for Full-time Big Man on Campus.

Dear Mary Jane,

In these dangerous times of war, sexually transmitted diseases, and identity theft, choosing a life partner can be very difficult. With all the online dating services available and the happy return rates clearly in decline, a Love Letter of Recommendation can help facilitate a successful partnership process.

Listening to Canyon Bob speak of you brought tears to all of our eyes. Please accept this Letter, Pie Chart, and references with open arms and seriously consider Canyon Bob as a full-time Big Man on Campus (BMOC).

We would welcome the opportunity to discuss Canyon Bob’s qualifications in a sit down meeting with an entertaining getting-to-know-Canyon Bob slide show. Thank you for your time and consideration in reviewing the enclosed credentials, and we look forward to meeting with you in person.

Guitaringly,
The TapWater Love Life Counselors

A Robot’s Field Trip

Keep your eyes and ears open for some new acoustic tunes coming to tapwater.net. Recent events in the band have seemed to clear a new path for us to explore. So, we decided to make a mark of the times and record this small adventure. Yes, it was finally time to unplug man’s best friend (the home recording robot) and take it on a field trip to the studio. Tonight’s rehearsal was soon to turn into a full recording session. A few beers and 28 adapters later (or was it the other way around???), we were on our way. With strings and bellows in hands we started recording our first acoustic LP. I’m very pleased with the performance (good job guys!). The tracks are sounding tasty. With a few more sessions we will have some more home cooked songs to serve with a slightly new flavor… more to come soon. Peace!

Introducing TapWater’s Love Life Link

Having problems reeling in the little lady or the big man? Haven’t been able to set the hook yet? Well get a clue: You need help! Let the talented Love Life counselors of TapWater help manipulate your potential partner to see things your way. In your first consultation with your handpicked TapWater counselor, he will provide you with the first necessary tool to complete the grueling interviewing process: The bonafide TapWater Love Letter of Recommendation. When you hand your potential partner The Love Letter or Recommendation, you will see immediate results as her/his eyes light up with a new appreciation of you. He or she will now be assured that you have the approval of TapWater and that yes, you really are special!

Included in this service is a sit-down meeting with your potential partner and your counselor, in which, if additional convincing is necessary, they will view a subliminal slide show. This last fail-safe method is how TapWater can guarantee your success.

And also, if you act now, we will throw in charts and graphs of your potential love life and earning potential, free of charge. And that’s not all! After your partner has been “reeled in,” Tapwater will include an official promotion letter, letting your special someone know that they have indeed been promoted from “Lady Friend” to “Special Lady” or from “this guy I like” to “Big Man on Campus”. For your free initial consultation please email us at iamdesperate@tapwater.net or call us toll free at 1-800-OHH-YEAH.

Helping you to happiness brings a tear to our eye.

Pranksters in Portland

Rumor has it that the White Eagle is haunted. TapWater had the pleasure of finding out first-hand. I set up the lighting rig with some help from Ravi early in the afternoon the day of the show. Each channel was tested and it was found that one was faulty. Resident mechanic and handy man Wes looked into it and found a wire had come loose from its solder. He checked the rest of the system and found this to be the only problem. After nearly electrocuting himself, he finally reaffixed it and viola! Working lights!

That night during the show, all was going great. The band was having one of their best performances, the bar was doing good business, and the lighting was fantastic. About half way through the first set, I decided I wanted to dance, so I set a stage look and took off for the dance floor. Half way through the first song I was boogying down to, the lights started flashing and flickering. “Oh no, the board is wigging out,” I thought. I go over and test the different channels. “Odd, but good…none of the channels are not working. Everything is responding the way it should.” I set a new look and wait. One song, two songs, it looks like its doing fine. I again walk away to dance.

This time, the lights don’t simply flash and flicker. They black out, they come up in a new look, colors are changing, in short, the lights are behaving as if there is someone running them (though not very well). Now I am quite sure it is not power surges or some other logical excuse: it must be GHOSTS!

For the rest of the night, when I was not running the lights, someone else was!

Edumication

Hey there all…how’s it goin’ in bloggerland. I would just like to start by saying I’m not much of a blogger or writer for that matter, but I’m open to trying new things. But really I failed English twice, once in high school and once in college, which probably makes you wonder how the hell I got to college in the first place. But that doesn’t even matter cause I dropped out after the first year and went to music school instead, which was much better (by the way that was a run-on sentence just now, I think). Anyway, English class never worked out because of those damn essays. It seemed like the teacher would make us write one every half hour. I felt like my head was about to pop. I said to the teacher “hey man, if you want me to be good at this stuff then don’t burn me out”. No, I’m just kidding I didn’t say that….but I wish I did. No really, you should stay in school kids, that way you don’t have to say , “Thank you for calling BevMo. How may I help you?” or “you want fries with that?”. You might even be able to be a professional blogger…..I mean writer. Anyway, since my grammar is so bad and it ended with a positive message for the kids, I would like to end this blog with a quote from the very wise and formidable, Ali G.

“Yo kids, lay of the rock. Stay in school. Big up yourself. Respek. Booyakasha!” - Ali G

BIG as TEXAS!

Bringing Your Fat Cat Down to Fighting Weight

Crevice Dixon and I were lounging around one afternoon and the conversation turned to our 7 year old Tabbycat, Tex Richardson. We remembered when he was a slim, agile lad, ready to take on any other feline that questioned his dominance over our apartment complex. “Now look at him, the sorry sack of atrophy… West, you feed him too much,” blamed Crevice. Getting defensive, I responded “It’s not that… he never leaves the house… never gets any exercise!” This was true, he just liked to sleep, eat, and get rub-downs by Crevice, but the fact is that I kept his food bowl full because I didn’t want to hear any whining. So Crevice comes up with the idea of getting Tex on a fast-track diet and an exercise program. How were we going to get him to exercise? Was there some kind of giant gerbil wheel? Could we put him on a leash and run him while riding our bikes?... pull Crevice on his skateboard? So we brainstormed for a while and came up with this 3-step program which we hope to market in a pet store near you:

1) Starve His Ass! We put him back in the food chain, fighting for survival, and we locked him out of the house with only a bowl full of water for 2 weeks. In this situation he was tangling with dogs, skunks, possums, and other cats in the concrete jungle, and we hoped that just maybe his hunting instincts would kick in again. After this drastic drop in weight, it was time for some serious cardio work…

2) Run His Ass! There is no dangling carrot bigger than fear. So we strapped a harness on him, put him in his cat carrier, grabbed my deep-sea rod and reel, and headed off to Dusty Rhodes Dog Park. As soon as we got near the park Tex started to get squirrelly. He could smell the stench of canine from 500 yards out. It was time to tie the fishing line to the harness. He knew where he was, and he was getting as antsy as a chicken knowing there’s a fox in the henhouse. So we set the cat carrier containing Tex right in the middle of the dog park and opened the carrier gate. Immediately he shot out of there, juking, zigging and zagging. We let him get about 100 yards out then I set the drag on the reel, slowing him down to a stop, deep-sea rod bending like it had a 30 pound Bluefin on board (like a Volkswagen Bug body with a Mack truck engine!). Slowly I reeled this fighting fur-ball madness in while Crevice kept the dogs off him. We repeated this method 5 times, each time setting the drag on the reel tighter, like the friction on a treadmill. Then the final step…

3) Run His Ass Harder! This step used the cat carrier, rod and reel, but this time we changed to a more challenging venue… Dog Beach. This was no giant litter box, as Tex found out. This sand was deep and was littered with many scurrying wet, frothy, sweaty, stinking dogs with lolling tongues. This step proved very challenging to Tex because not only did he have to overcome a heavy drag, he had to jump as he ran to keep from getting bogged in sand.
If Tex could talk, we know he would be thanking us. He is now in the best shape of his life… back down to fighting weight!

San Francisco Roller Coaster

Ah yes, the motor home. What an adventure in itself. The most exciting story from the road about the motor home (and I do mean THEE most exciting) would be regarding a show we had in San Francisco. I can hear you chuckling already, thinking perhaps, "a motor home on the streets of SF?! That's asking for disaster!" Being very well aware of this ourselves, we made it a point to plan our routing around the city on the major streets only, and with as few of hills as possible. The first time through we were stellar, giging at a place near to Golden Gate Park meant we really did not have to deal with the difficulties of navigating the inner city.
The second time through, we were not so lucky. We were booked at the Grant and Green. As we made our approach to our destination, the streets became more and more narrow with every turn, until finally we were on Grant, just one block away. Vehicles parked on either side of the street were mere centimeters from iRVin, the mirrors clearing only because they were so high up. I made the left onto Green and double parked while the guys unloaded their gear from the trailer. They gave me the ok, asking, "where are you going to park?"
"I have no idea, but you better double check that you have EVERYthing you need because I can assure you it wont be close!"
"oh I forgot my hat"
"I need the set list"
"are you really wearing those sandals on stage?" "fine, I will change...I need to get shoes"
Now it was really time to pull away. I continued down Green, making the right onto Columbus, searching the side streets for any place to put my '50 feet of lovin'. No luck. We get all the way down to the wharf and decide we may as well just park in a 'free' lot with other (much smaller) homes, until we realize it is quite the shady set up. Finally we settle on parking in pier 29. Since iRVin takes up so many spots, a quick math equation told Anne and I that it would cost about $50/hr to leave him there! That would be our pay for the night: to heck with that. I decided it would be in the best interest of the band to stay with the RV while Anne went to the club to fulfill the manager position.
An hour and a half later, the call comes: " the band is done, you should probably head out." Back the way I came, I make the left onto Green and begin the accent. I crossed Grant, totally scraping the hitch much to the delight of the drunks outside. I pull over and the band begins loading in, against gravity. Ravi is in the trailer yelling up a storm and calling for another hand because "the walls are crashing down on me-son of a motherless goat!!!" The load is finally packed and everyone piles in. I pull away from the curb, heading in the only direction I can go: up. People on the street wave me down, yelling "buses don't even go up this hill, you should turn around". But I had checked with a map and was sure that the streets went through, although what the hill was like wasn't really represented.
We approach the top of the hill, feeling like the roller coaster ride is really going to swing into motion now.
At the point the coaster would stop going click-click-click-click, but just before you actually go over the falls, that moment of silent om, I make the right turn onto Kearny St. Again, we are on a steep incline, but we have gone over the falls, all of the band is crammed in the front 8 feet of the RV due to the effects of gravity (that and they are dying to see if I am going to clear the right turn onto the narrow street, trying to avoid those nasty obstacles...cars on either side). As we descend, it appears as if the street just drops away: the city rises up from nothing in front of us.
But alas, there is indeed a street, Vallejo, that intersects, and thankfully it is a one way in the direction we want to go, so we shouldn't have any problems, but what do I see: an SUV heading right toward me! Well I am bigger and going the correct way, so I keep coming forward and the SUV honks but begins backing until they find a place to pull over. Our nightmare is almost through, I can see Columbus just two streets away, we are approaching Grant.
Now what is going on? There is a tiny two door, maybe a CRX, parked diagonally in the road with the door standing open. Then we see the problem: a small, thin woman is being thrown against the side of the car by a smallish dude! Well, the men and women of TapWater will not stand for this sort of abuse! But before we can even get the door of the RV unlocked, she flies at him with fists of fury! A blow to the head, one to the gut and he is bent in half. Not a moment goes by and he is upright and kicking her car...oh my! What have we stumbled upon. The guys are out and trying to separate the two but they really want to kill one another. Ravi tries to explain that we don't really want to get involved in their spat, we just want to get by, but there is no talking her into moving her car. She breaks free and chases down the guy, fists first, so Ravi looks in her car and realizes that she left her keys in the ignition. Perfect. He moves the seat back and revs the engine. That stops her in her tracks, she spins and now the fists are directed at Ravi. He grabs her wrists to prevent getting whaled on, saying "Are you going to move your car NOW??!"
She pulls it a little off the road and I try to push the RV through the intersection, but by this time, traffic is REALLY backed up. I try and try to maneuver but finally rescind the wheel to Ravi to get us the rest of the way out of the mess. Now its nothing but open, San Fran road. WHEW. An unforgettable experience for sure.

A Note from the Manager

Hi. My name is anne. I have a hard job. My job is to manage TapWater -- to manage everything from the booking to the finances, from the tour to the marketing. Most importantly, I manage the people that you know as TapWater -- the five guys who make the music that transforms the world from a dry, gray place into a lush rainbow of delight. It is a tremendous amount of responsibility, but I know I am up for the task.

The perks of my job are several. First, every day is different. Because we do not have help from anyone in the industry, we have to create our own path. We find our own way, learning how to create something from nothing, how to best promote ourselves, where to play, how to play, and how to maximize and leverage every moment of our work. I also love that I get to develop a deep sense of courage. I have become comfortable with high risk and uncertainty, and I trust in myself and my team that we can make it to the next level. Everything is a thick learning experience, teaching us what we need to know to move forward. It's awesome. And of course, I love working with some of the most talented musicians to walk the planet -- I love to hear their music, and help them achieve their goals. It is highly, highly satisfying.

The hardest part of my job is to keep everyone motivated. This can be quite challenging considering the obstacles we are up against. We do not make enough money to live or pay our bills, and we often live in unlivable situations -- cramming 6 or 7 people into a 34' motorhome for months on end. We do not get to spend enough time with our friends and family, we cannot afford to take vacations, or buy ourselves anything nice. We are lucky if we can pay our car insurance on time, or buy groceries for the week. And on top of that, we are in an industry where almost everyone is jaded, where no one acts as a community, where there are unbeatable odds. The market is oversaturated with bands and no one wants to pay you for your work. Every way you turn, people tell you "no." They tell us daily we are wasting our time, that we are chasing something impossible that cannot be achieved. They tell us that we cannot make it.

Sounds troublesome, doesn't it? It can be, but really, at the end of the day, all those things do not matter. They don't matter because we are working for what we believe in. Every day we spend our time creating the life that we know is possible for ourselves, for our fans, for our community. We know in the marrow of our bones that we have that something special that only comes along once in a lifetime. And when you look at it like that, the only thing that matters is that we do what is necessary to give this gift back to world so that it may fulfill the purpose that Life has intended.

It's Not That I Didn't Think That It Couldn't Be Done

OK, so I am very frustrated at this point because I doublehandedly handcrafted a wonderful blogg for all of you guys out there in handcrafted bloggerland and like a big, giant, clumsy, lameoid, who never ever, ever listens to our illustrious manager the first time (don't tell her I said that) I unwittingly somehow erased quite possibly the most beautiful piece of written work ever created in the history of Ravi and maybe the infinate existence of space and time. No, I'm not kidding...it was that good. I must have spent like several painstaking miutes unleashing the pictures in my brain in articulated fashion so delicately composed that you couldn't help but feel like you were there with me. To tell you the truth, I felt like I was there with you. So when our wonderful beautiful superockshred manager who gos by the humble Anne Tropeano said "draft your blog in word first then cut and paste it into your blog field, I completly ignored her wise words of caution, throwing care to the wind without a second thought and let my fingers dance across the keyboard only to lose everything that I had toiled so excruciatingly to create. My masterpiece had vanished. Ohhh the pain! Ohhhhhh the suffering dissapointment at my ignorant carelessness which had yielded such despair. So that's it. You don't get it. Maybe I'll write that story for your yearning eyes and wondering brain at some previously undisclosed place in time, however not today, not now and maybe never..... but I probably will. Of course did I go into word and draft this blog and cut and paste it this time? HECK NO!
-Ravi

Gordon BEER-sch

Hey y'all! Marc here...just wanted to give a shout out to the amazing people at Gordon Biersch in Mission Valley! We had such a good time at the beer festival this past Sunday--and free beer -- need I say more! By the way, the pomegranate martinis rock too. Thanks to everyone for their incredible support too! We loved it!

Bananas Grapes Tomatoes Orange Peels.....Barbie Dolls and Red Hot Wheels!!!

Always on the Sunnyside!

Well, not always on the sunnyside. I woke up this morning feeling cranky, blaming myself and others for all the obstacles in my life. Then one thing occurred to me and I said to myself, "Self, that isn't you talking, that's the old Wes rearing his cranky, cynical, irritated head. It's a beautiful day and there are so many great possibilities and so many cool people to meet." Of course this is the "transformed" Wes talking now, and I give thanks to my band manager, Anne Tropeano, for showing me the way to finding enlightenment.

Anne registered the band members for a seminar called The Landmark Forum (www.landmarkeducation.com). Although I attended to appease Anne, I came out different person showing signs of optimism, true compassion, courage and emotion. It is brilliant how Landmark's curriculum is structured. They give you the tools and knowhow to perform self-development, and if you meet any stumbling blocks after the weekend, you can call most times to get coaching from their professional staff. Usually I am skeptical of these self-development programs, but Landmark's curriculum was the first to make perfect logical sense to me and to show me things that I had never seen before.

So many people have had varying degrees of positive experiences from Landmark Education that you can be certain that you will hear about it again and again. Check it out if you think your life or society needs a new coat of paint.