Excitement

You know, there’s something to be said about excitement. For me it’s kind of like going up that first climb on a monster roller coaster and your just cresting the top of that first drop….click, click, click, click and all of a sudden your rushing toward the ground 70 times faster than man/woman was originally designed to travel, and that taste in your mouth is actually your stomach which is a strange place for that to be hanging out, and even stranger yet that it is the least of your concerns at that particular junction in your life.

Anyhow for each of us excitement manifests itself in different ways. For some of you, you’d scoff at me for getting excited at a pisley little roller coaster ride, for you something like sliding the door open on the side of an aircraft and leaping into the wide blue atmosphere is what gets your blood to course speedily through your blood veins. For others it might be getting to see a family member they haven’t seen in a long time, but whatever the case, I kind of thrive on the energy rush that excitement provides.

So what brings this up you may ask? Well a couple of things. One is that our band is a day away from embarking on our summer tour. Ahhhh yes! I get to cram myself into a 34 foot vehicle with 5 or 6 other people and work my donkey off for extremely long days, driving down marginal black strips of asphalt, adhered to the earth with, well basically gravity, that literally can run forever. Oh yeah, it’s a blast. Always being shuffled around and told where to go and what to do, never knowing hardly which way is up or what city your in or where you are from day to day. Oh yes and then there’s the shower situation and laundry, housekeeping, maintenance and upkeep of your living situation and of course everyone is always in the best of spirits, and all I can think to myself is…..BRING IT ON BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of this for those couple hours a night of pure bliss. A sheer freedom of experience when I strap on my ( getchyer minds out of the gutter) guitar and join my comrades on stage and get to do what I love the most.( besides my mom) Play music for anyone who cares to listen.

Oh yeah I did say I had a couple of things. Well the second one is the I have a fresh Julian apple pie in my fridge and I’m about to run to the store to pick up some Vanilla bean ice cream-Yum
See Ya

Nutrition

I've been fluctuating for years now about the food I consume. I grew up an all-American boy eating meat including Slim Jims, tube-steaks and a whole gaggle (Jamie's favorite word) of sliced, diced, whipped and processed swine. McDonald's was the usual stop before and after school-- Sausage McTinge in the morning and two cheeseburgers topped with fries in the afternoon. Of course Mom would recommend a variety of vegetables for the evening's slop. The past 9 years I've gone on and off vegetarian and vegan diets, each time inevitably switching back to eating food from my childhood.

Since I love my life and I expect to live a couple hundred years, recently I've gone back to an all vegan, mostly organic diet. I feel that I've abused my cosmic vehicle for long enough, and that if I don't switch I'm just a step away from getting a degenerative disease. With equal weight, my conscience can no longer bear consuming anything with a face.

I'm paying particularly close attention to the nutritional side of the foods I'm eating. I try to make sure I'm getting decent amounts of glucose, vitamins, proteins, amino and fatty acids, minerals and fiber.

Here are two key things that I've discovered through some rudimentary research:
1. Eat 80% alkalizing forming foods and 20% acidic forming foods. I found a fairly extensive list of these foods at http://home.bluegrass.net/~jclark/alkaline_foods.htm
2. Intake ratio of Potassium to Sodium should always be 4 to 1. So for every 100 mg of sodium I consume, I eat 400 mg Potassium. If one has too much sodium then the body's cells retain water and do not function properly. This ratio is essential for weightloss since the majority of our weight and "fluffyness" comes from water retention. I found nutritional data for the foods I eat at http://www.nutritiondata.com/.

Because I started eating properly, I have the energy to exercise which completes the cycle of health.

-Wes

Jobby Job

How's it goin' peeps. I was just sitting here wondering what to write about and then it hit me. I'll give you a little insight on my crappy job. That should be fun, huh? Anyway, I'm a clerk for a large liquor store chain. Just by saying that some of you may know the name of the place, and for those that don't I'll keep you guessing. Basically, I shouldn’t have taken the job in the first place, but we got back from our first tour in November and I was desperate for one. The main problem is the pay sucks. The other problem, like any other retail chain, is people ask some pretty stupid questions and it catches you off guard so you don't know how to react. For example, just the other day a guy came up to me and asked, "Excuse me, do you carry any tequila made from agave?" It took me a moment to keep myself from laughing in his face, then I politely muttered the words, "Uh....all tequila is made from agave." What I really wanted to say was, "No sir, that shipment didn't come in today. Instead we got this other kind of tequila distilled from potatoes or grain. But for some reason they call it VODKA!"

Anyway I probably sound like a grouch but I’m not …really.

Hey, so check it out. Since this segment had to do with alcohol I figure I would end this blog with a toast. So everybody go to the fridge or liquor cabinet and grab a beer or shot of something and let’s toast to life. Whatta ya say? Ok ready? Now raise your drink and resite these words.

Work like you don’t need the money
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Dance like no one is watching
Screw like you’re being filmed
And always drink like a true Irishman
Cheers!!

Exploring Gender Specific Foods

To build on Ravi C. Laird's literary submission, "You are What You Eat," let's explore which foods are MANLY and Unmanly... and which foods are Androgynous. When performing my meticulous speculation, previously I had hypothesized that there were only two categories of foods, manly and unmanly, but with further stabs in the dark I came to the conclusion that some foods could be hermaphroditic. Below is a brief list:

Manly foods

• Steak
• Burgers
• Baked Potato
• Prime Rib
• Barbeque Ribs
• Freedom Fries
• Iceberg lettuce salad with an unripe tomato wedge
• Beer
• Easy Mac with Hormel Chili

Unmanly foods

• Quiche
• Cottage cheese
• Baby Greens Salad
• Tofu
• Tempeh
• Rosemary red potatoes
• Yogurt
• Chocolate Mousse
• Pina Colada with Umbrella (anytime of the day)
• Pina Colada without umbrella (but after 6 PM)

Androgynous foods

• Pasta with marinara or alfredo sauce
• Pork chops
• Coca cola
• Homemade Macaroni and cheese
• French fries
• Pizza
• Salmon
• Chicken

In subsequent submissions I will explore the health effects of eating manly, unmanly, and androgynous foods.

You Are What You Eat

You know, when I was a kid and, now that I think about it, through most of my life, lemon has been my all time favorite flavor. Sure, there have been a lot of others that have come and gone, and some that have stuck for quite a while and are indeed still contenders, but lemon…. Ahhh yes lemon is the tough competitor constantly ruling the tongue and challenging all other flavors to step up to the palate. Uh Hum!

I remember way back in the day, my grandma used to make a lemon meringue that was out of this world. That creamy, snap, tang of the bright iridescent yellow stuff topped with this light, off white, sugary stuff that looked fluffy, yet had a sort of sweet crunch to it, all atop a flaky cream colored soft and chewy homemade pie crust that sort of triggered a mini Niagara Falls in your mouth. I had to keep swallowing just to contain the jealousy of my anticipating saliva glands.

Oh yes, I went through them all…. Lemon snap cookies, lemon drops, lemon ice cream (yum), and I went berserk for those lemonheads candies. Remember those, in the white box with the blue writing and the sour face picture?

So I realized this morning, when having my morning juice blend, that it’s not just lemon that gives my taste buds the excitement of a five year old going to Disneyland….It’s anything sour and tart. You see I make these juice blends, for example this morning it was 100% cranberry juice mixed with an Orange fusion-about a fifty/fifty ratio. I tried it out on some of the neighborhood kids who won’t drink juice (or anything that’s healthy for that matter) however they love sour candy. So I said “hey you kids, this juice tastes like sour gummy worms.” They loved it. Some even started buying 100% cranberry to make their own juice blends.

So here is the point of my story. If I love the Whacky, Zany, Bam, Bang, Crazy, Over the top, Zippity do da of the tongue curling effects of the sweet and sour turbulently tart, and, you are what you eat (and drink), then that explains what has possibly been the ultimate question in the universe for me…..who and why I am.

I feel better now. Have I told you my theory on colors? Well it all started when I was a little……
-Ravi C. Laird

New Music Rise

One of the most exciting things for me as Manager is watching the band produce new material. I get the distinct privilege of hearing songs as they are written, as they are developed by the full band, and as they are introduced to the public. It is a fascinating, amazing process where each band member's color is interwoven to create an elegant reflection of life.

I am very inspired by the new music that the band is writing lately. Steve, Tim, and Wes all have new pieces they are working in. Steve's new one is a sort of bluesy, raucous number laden with desire. Tim's is a poppy Beatles-esque tune lined with innocent heartbreak. And Wes' is a solemn melodic acknowledgement to his mother who has long since passed. They are all stellar.

TapWater, I am continually impressed with your growth and commitment to musicianship. I am very lucky to work with such talent. Thank you, guys.

anne

Directions to the Party

OK, so from the 55 North, you go up to mile marker 16. There will be an old dirt road on the left. Follow approximately 11 miles and veer right at the fork. Go up three dirt roads and make another right. This is the short cut to State Route 33, which will be about a mile up. Follow Rt. 33 for 4 miles to junction 50 and continue 8.4 miles to highway 15 North. Go up 6 miles to Via Juacinto exit. At the end of the off ramp, stay in the left hand side of the right turn lane. Go up to the next stop light and stay in the right hand side of the left turn lane. This is Camino Mesa Rd. Make your first right at the stop sign onto Village Camp Rd. From here go up about a mile and a half until you see a Burger King and bust a right. I don't remember the name of this street, but it is definately at the Burger King. I know because it is next to the Aarco where we always get gas. This will take you down past the Chevy dealership to where the WalMart/Olive Garden shopping center is on the right and the Mervyn's/Sears mall is on the left. Keep going, your almost there. When you get to Second street, take a left. You'll know it because there's a 76 station on the corner. Make your first right into Country Living Estates. The gate code is 3514. Once through the gate, follow the windy paved road and veer right at the fork and go straight after the stop sign. Make your first left onto Country Court, up one block to Country Circle. This is my street. I am the fifth estate on the left, 33152 Country Circle. You can valet your vehicle at the end of the driveway. Follow the lights into the party. The whole trip should take about an hour. Let's rage, I'll see you there. Make a copy of this email as it will be your invitation. Peace- Ravi.

Love Letter of Recommendation

Sample letter:

Canyon Bob
777 Lucky in Love Drive
San Diego, CA 92107

Regarding: Position for Full-time Big Man on Campus.

Dear Mary Jane,

In these dangerous times of war, sexually transmitted diseases, and identity theft, choosing a life partner can be very difficult. With all the online dating services available and the happy return rates clearly in decline, a Love Letter of Recommendation can help facilitate a successful partnership process.

Listening to Canyon Bob speak of you brought tears to all of our eyes. Please accept this Letter, Pie Chart, and references with open arms and seriously consider Canyon Bob as a full-time Big Man on Campus (BMOC).

We would welcome the opportunity to discuss Canyon Bob’s qualifications in a sit down meeting with an entertaining getting-to-know-Canyon Bob slide show. Thank you for your time and consideration in reviewing the enclosed credentials, and we look forward to meeting with you in person.

Guitaringly,
The TapWater Love Life Counselors

A Robot’s Field Trip

Keep your eyes and ears open for some new acoustic tunes coming to tapwater.net. Recent events in the band have seemed to clear a new path for us to explore. So, we decided to make a mark of the times and record this small adventure. Yes, it was finally time to unplug man’s best friend (the home recording robot) and take it on a field trip to the studio. Tonight’s rehearsal was soon to turn into a full recording session. A few beers and 28 adapters later (or was it the other way around???), we were on our way. With strings and bellows in hands we started recording our first acoustic LP. I’m very pleased with the performance (good job guys!). The tracks are sounding tasty. With a few more sessions we will have some more home cooked songs to serve with a slightly new flavor… more to come soon. Peace!

Introducing TapWater’s Love Life Link

Having problems reeling in the little lady or the big man? Haven’t been able to set the hook yet? Well get a clue: You need help! Let the talented Love Life counselors of TapWater help manipulate your potential partner to see things your way. In your first consultation with your handpicked TapWater counselor, he will provide you with the first necessary tool to complete the grueling interviewing process: The bonafide TapWater Love Letter of Recommendation. When you hand your potential partner The Love Letter or Recommendation, you will see immediate results as her/his eyes light up with a new appreciation of you. He or she will now be assured that you have the approval of TapWater and that yes, you really are special!

Included in this service is a sit-down meeting with your potential partner and your counselor, in which, if additional convincing is necessary, they will view a subliminal slide show. This last fail-safe method is how TapWater can guarantee your success.

And also, if you act now, we will throw in charts and graphs of your potential love life and earning potential, free of charge. And that’s not all! After your partner has been “reeled in,” Tapwater will include an official promotion letter, letting your special someone know that they have indeed been promoted from “Lady Friend” to “Special Lady” or from “this guy I like” to “Big Man on Campus”. For your free initial consultation please email us at iamdesperate@tapwater.net or call us toll free at 1-800-OHH-YEAH.

Helping you to happiness brings a tear to our eye.

Pranksters in Portland

Rumor has it that the White Eagle is haunted. TapWater had the pleasure of finding out first-hand. I set up the lighting rig with some help from Ravi early in the afternoon the day of the show. Each channel was tested and it was found that one was faulty. Resident mechanic and handy man Wes looked into it and found a wire had come loose from its solder. He checked the rest of the system and found this to be the only problem. After nearly electrocuting himself, he finally reaffixed it and viola! Working lights!

That night during the show, all was going great. The band was having one of their best performances, the bar was doing good business, and the lighting was fantastic. About half way through the first set, I decided I wanted to dance, so I set a stage look and took off for the dance floor. Half way through the first song I was boogying down to, the lights started flashing and flickering. “Oh no, the board is wigging out,” I thought. I go over and test the different channels. “Odd, but good…none of the channels are not working. Everything is responding the way it should.” I set a new look and wait. One song, two songs, it looks like its doing fine. I again walk away to dance.

This time, the lights don’t simply flash and flicker. They black out, they come up in a new look, colors are changing, in short, the lights are behaving as if there is someone running them (though not very well). Now I am quite sure it is not power surges or some other logical excuse: it must be GHOSTS!

For the rest of the night, when I was not running the lights, someone else was!