What is Squatsquatch and why are we searching for it/him/her? There have been recent sightings and signs of a burly looking creature cruising the forests of California, Oregon, and Washington, in what appears to be "Rad Day" shorts and river sandals. It appears that this beast has some sense of modesty and sensitive, tender feet, hence the "Rad Day" shorts and river sandals. We are very curious: What the hell are "Rad Day" shorts? Apparently they were stolen off of a clothesline at some point, and we hope to get a good look at them on our quest and to return them to their previous owner who attaches strong sentimental value to this pair of "unique-looking" shorts.
Sources say that Squatsquatch has some of the most peculiar shaped droppings (skat, dung, feces, excrement, crap, poop, shit, shite, meadow muffins) with an unusual signature on top of the heap, though this may be myth. We also hear this beast likes to hang lights in the forest, but we think this is a load of crap; how would a wild and woolly creature get access to electricity in a forest? There is evidence that Squatsquatch's voice (mating call?) has been recorded by some frightened campers. We will endeavor to render this audio recording for your aural pleasure.
Out on the road, we the good, clean folks of TapWater recreate in wholesome, creative, and fun-loving ways. Along with visiting brewpubs, national parks, and disc golf courses, we are now adding Squatsquatch tracking. We look forward to providing you with video footage of our search and just maybe an actual sighting of this mythical, legendary beast.
No comments:
Post a Comment