San Francisco Roller Coaster

Ah yes, the motor home. What an adventure in itself. The most exciting story from the road about the motor home (and I do mean THEE most exciting) would be regarding a show we had in San Francisco. I can hear you chuckling already, thinking perhaps, "a motor home on the streets of SF?! That's asking for disaster!" Being very well aware of this ourselves, we made it a point to plan our routing around the city on the major streets only, and with as few of hills as possible. The first time through we were stellar, giging at a place near to Golden Gate Park meant we really did not have to deal with the difficulties of navigating the inner city.
The second time through, we were not so lucky. We were booked at the Grant and Green. As we made our approach to our destination, the streets became more and more narrow with every turn, until finally we were on Grant, just one block away. Vehicles parked on either side of the street were mere centimeters from iRVin, the mirrors clearing only because they were so high up. I made the left onto Green and double parked while the guys unloaded their gear from the trailer. They gave me the ok, asking, "where are you going to park?"
"I have no idea, but you better double check that you have EVERYthing you need because I can assure you it wont be close!"
"oh I forgot my hat"
"I need the set list"
"are you really wearing those sandals on stage?" "fine, I will change...I need to get shoes"
Now it was really time to pull away. I continued down Green, making the right onto Columbus, searching the side streets for any place to put my '50 feet of lovin'. No luck. We get all the way down to the wharf and decide we may as well just park in a 'free' lot with other (much smaller) homes, until we realize it is quite the shady set up. Finally we settle on parking in pier 29. Since iRVin takes up so many spots, a quick math equation told Anne and I that it would cost about $50/hr to leave him there! That would be our pay for the night: to heck with that. I decided it would be in the best interest of the band to stay with the RV while Anne went to the club to fulfill the manager position.
An hour and a half later, the call comes: " the band is done, you should probably head out." Back the way I came, I make the left onto Green and begin the accent. I crossed Grant, totally scraping the hitch much to the delight of the drunks outside. I pull over and the band begins loading in, against gravity. Ravi is in the trailer yelling up a storm and calling for another hand because "the walls are crashing down on me-son of a motherless goat!!!" The load is finally packed and everyone piles in. I pull away from the curb, heading in the only direction I can go: up. People on the street wave me down, yelling "buses don't even go up this hill, you should turn around". But I had checked with a map and was sure that the streets went through, although what the hill was like wasn't really represented.
We approach the top of the hill, feeling like the roller coaster ride is really going to swing into motion now.
At the point the coaster would stop going click-click-click-click, but just before you actually go over the falls, that moment of silent om, I make the right turn onto Kearny St. Again, we are on a steep incline, but we have gone over the falls, all of the band is crammed in the front 8 feet of the RV due to the effects of gravity (that and they are dying to see if I am going to clear the right turn onto the narrow street, trying to avoid those nasty obstacles...cars on either side). As we descend, it appears as if the street just drops away: the city rises up from nothing in front of us.
But alas, there is indeed a street, Vallejo, that intersects, and thankfully it is a one way in the direction we want to go, so we shouldn't have any problems, but what do I see: an SUV heading right toward me! Well I am bigger and going the correct way, so I keep coming forward and the SUV honks but begins backing until they find a place to pull over. Our nightmare is almost through, I can see Columbus just two streets away, we are approaching Grant.
Now what is going on? There is a tiny two door, maybe a CRX, parked diagonally in the road with the door standing open. Then we see the problem: a small, thin woman is being thrown against the side of the car by a smallish dude! Well, the men and women of TapWater will not stand for this sort of abuse! But before we can even get the door of the RV unlocked, she flies at him with fists of fury! A blow to the head, one to the gut and he is bent in half. Not a moment goes by and he is upright and kicking her car...oh my! What have we stumbled upon. The guys are out and trying to separate the two but they really want to kill one another. Ravi tries to explain that we don't really want to get involved in their spat, we just want to get by, but there is no talking her into moving her car. She breaks free and chases down the guy, fists first, so Ravi looks in her car and realizes that she left her keys in the ignition. Perfect. He moves the seat back and revs the engine. That stops her in her tracks, she spins and now the fists are directed at Ravi. He grabs her wrists to prevent getting whaled on, saying "Are you going to move your car NOW??!"
She pulls it a little off the road and I try to push the RV through the intersection, but by this time, traffic is REALLY backed up. I try and try to maneuver but finally rescind the wheel to Ravi to get us the rest of the way out of the mess. Now its nothing but open, San Fran road. WHEW. An unforgettable experience for sure.